What IS in your control and what ISN’T
For a person to flourish in their life there needs to be a focus on what they CAN DO. For a person to get stuck, react negatively, fail, procrastinate, remain a victim and be in a state of hopelessness, then they are focusing on what they CANNOT DO. In your life which has been your focus?
If you know how to focus on what you CAN DO, then your life will be a success because you will be active and proactive and this means you will be the HERO of your life.
I once coached a person who was eager to change and yet struggled to make the necessary decisions required to move forward. It became apparent that (his or her) obstacle was blaming his parents for his current state and an inability to see the possibilities around him. So I asked him the following questions to delve into his thinking:
– What results have you got from blaming your parents?
– Has it served you? Nurtured you?
– What will it take to close that story and move forward in your life?
Our conversation then uncovered the real underlying issue: fear of the future and fear of failure. There wouldn’t have been that realisation, however, if the person had stayed focused on what was not in his control: his parents’ behaviour.
We must always be careful of this trap of focusing on what we can’t control, especially in our spirituality. What do you consider to be within God’s control? Some might say the weather, for example, and there are certainly many who believe God allows natural causes. We could say life, but murder happens all the time. It is a difficult question and one which philosophers have battled for centuries. But what we can answer is the question: what do you think is not in God’s control? It is our free will. What a gift and a responsibility the freedom to choose is! Did you know that if you didn’t have free choice you wouldn’t be human? I have degrees in theology and came across many different views on free will and predetermined realities. I have come to realise though that one thing is the most important: what is my choice in each day, each moment? What can I focus on?
Consider for a moment believing completely that you were 100% responsible for the results you were getting. Wouldn’t you be focused on what you can do rather than waste time on what you can’t do? Give it a go! Begin today.
I offer a fantastic course on goal setting and setting a vision for your life. and you can find it here. Or perhaps you might prefer a free 20 minute coaching session over the phone. If so, give me a call.