http://life-horizons.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/adam-and-eve.jpg 766 1024 [email protected] http://life-horizons.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/life-horizons-coaching-logo-small.jpg [email protected]2015-09-30 13:03:112015-09-30 13:03:11Know what makes for unity in your relationships
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Knowing what makes for unity in your relationships:
We hear in the first book of the bible about the creation of man and woman. A very symbolic and engaging account about the creative power of God and the intimate relationship between man and woman and God. In Genesis 2:18-24 we hear about God taking the rib from mans side and forming woman. Man is very pleased about this because he has now a relationship that is unique, empowering, and encouraging. The man exclaimed, as in rejoiced saying “This at last is bone from my bones, and flesh from my flesh!” in other words he has found an equal. Then the scripture informs us “This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body”.
I think there is so much to reflect on here that is relevant for us in our lives today.
In the beginning Man rejoiced at finding his equal. It is interesting we don’t hear what the woman says in the account. Perhaps she isn’t quite as pleased to see the man because she is presented to him rather than to all creation as the man was. But we assume she is happy to be in relationship and conscious, with all the blessings of the man, as an equal. Equality is and has been a strong endeavour of our time. Some have different notions of equality. Some think equality is about a woman becoming like a man, or man becoming like woman in skill and ability. But in the scripture we hear man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife. In a coaching perspective I see this as man becoming mature, leaving the care of his mother and father to join not become the woman, but join himself to her, and her to him. So the man is still man and the woman still woman, they become one, being masculine and feminine. But this is important. For a man and woman to become one, they must be mature otherwise, the man does not leave his mother and father, he leaves his mother to join another mother in his partner. So first of all, if you feel you want this kind of union in your life, visualise what that looks like to you. Being with the other sex, and still being yourself but also one with the other, a dance of masculinity and femininity. As you see yourself there, enter into the picture and ask yourself do you have all the skills to achieve this or is there something you need to learn or perhaps let go of to flourish in this type of relationship. What do you need to grow in maturity
There is so much to learn to flourish in a relationships. I will list a few. Understanding personality types (DISC, temperments), understanding love languages of your partners, how to resolve conflict, family planning… the list goes on. Perhaps it is time to start researching what is missing in your understanding. You should be learning all the time, because your relationships will determine your happiness in life, it is the greatest gift you will ever receive, look after it and you will be happy, neglect it and you will perish. And if you haven’t already, consider having a spiritual director, or counsellor or life coach to help you forward, this has been my greatest help in my life. Consider contacting me today, I offer a free consultation with no obligations.
We hear in the Gospel reading that Jesus refers to this passage of scripture when talking to the Pharisees who question Jesus about the Law Moses. The Law is the possibility for divorce. Jesus replies by lamenting “it was because you were so unteachable that he wrote this commandment for you.” What does Jesus mean by “unteachable”, perhaps stubborn? perhaps blinded in some way to a new learning? I think in all our relationships we need to be learning. The perspective of the other isn’t always obvious, it is easy to point the finger to blame, to turn a cold shoulder, to withdraw, to avoid, to attack the other or even self in the relationship. Unfortunately even today the law of Moses is needed because we are so unteachable. But Jesus states clearly “two become one” not one become two. Unity is important in every relationship, the family relationship, the friend relationship, the business relationship. Know what makes for unity. One of the best ways of learning restoring relationship upsets, is restorative justice. If you haven’t already learnt the five questions to ask when in conflict, do it, it will save your relationships time and time again. Look into it today, or ask for a personalised coaching program in restorative justice today.
Assess the unity of your relationships? is there room for improvement?
is there a pattern of breakup in your relationships, perhaps research restorative justice and start healing relationships.
look into being teachable and learn more about relationships, for example, love languages.
Tell me what you found challenging about these readings? Was this helpful?